Hello lol.
It has been a while. The rona got me and so I thought I would start an isolation diary, hope you enjoy.

Isolation Diary Entry. Day 2. 

I’ve been confined to only three rooms: my bedroom, the spare room to work in and the upstairs bathroom to shit/piss/wash in. 

I am forbidden to go downstairs, where the kitchen is. Where the food is. 

Lin said to ring when hungry and she will deliver food. I did ring. I just wanted a 12 o clock toastie. Lin was asleep. 

She called me back at 4pm to apologise and offer me a toastie. My stubborn arse told her it was too late and that I will simply waste away. She told me to grow up and hung up on me. 

I am so hungry and so lonely. 

6 days to go. If I’m lucky. 

Dinner is expected at 7pm. 

Isolation Diary Entry: Day 3

Lin is still negative. She went to work. 

Harrison is terrified of me. I poked my head out of my room at 8AM to leave my empty cups outside of my door for someone to take downstairs. He was in the hallway at the time and when he saw me, he literally gasped and retreated into his room. 

I am a hazard. This made me feel sad.

Dad asked me at 10AM if I would like a coffee before he leaves for work – I said yes please, but no sugar and with almond milk. He repeated the question, because he is deaf and did not hear my response. I couldn’t be arsed to repeat the request, so I just asked him to bring me a lucozade instead. 

Drank the lucozade. I now have a headache from being dehydrated. 

Lin came home from work at 12 o clock lunch time. I rang her immediately on the home phone to request cheese and crackers. She kicked off because I said I would quite like the Jacob’s Cream Crackers, but they are her favourite. I reminded her that I am basically living the life of Anne Frank this week. 

She delivered the food: there was Jacob’s Cream Crackers on the plate. 

Isolation Diary Entry: Day 4

It is Saturday today, which means no work. Which means nothing to distract me from isolation and the harrowing loneliness that comes with it. 

I have three friends: my bed, my TV and the bath. It is now 13:30 in the afternoon and I have not left my bed since 8PM last night. 

Harrison left a McDonald’s breakfast outside my door this morning – a sausage and egg McMuffin meal with a hash brown and a strawberry milkshake. 

The muffin was soggy and looked a bit sad: it was like looking in the mirror. 

I fell into a sluggish state after the greasy breakfast and during this time Joshua had tried to call me. I called him back and he had told me he thought I’d died. I wanted to tell him that I should be so lucky, but instead I assured him that my family would let him know if I was dead. He didn’t seem too bothered after that: Sunderland was playing. 

Isolation Diary Entry: Day 5

I awoke with the most hateful headache this morning at 8AM, courtesy of the whole bottle of Gordon’s pink gin that I had consumed the night before. 

To top off this unpleasant welcome to the new day; I had received a text message from Harold to tell me that he had left a coffee outside my door. He had sent it at half 7; meaning that the coffee was now stone cold. I drank the whole thing. It went down like cough syrup and tasted almost as bitter as my mood. 

I called Lin and begged her to bring up a lateral flow test for me – I could hear Harold protesting in the background, insisting that I should not “waste a test” and that I should wait until Tuesday. Not only am I outcasted, but I am also hated in this home. 

Isolation Diary Entry: Day 6

I can’t endure this torture any longer. I had to Deliveroo some Doritos and salsa last night, because my selfish family point blank refused to go to the shop for me. The shop that is 2 minutes up the road from my house. 

I devoured the whole pot of salsa, even after I had ran out of Doritos, purely to make the £2.99 delivery charge worth it, but the stomach ache and multiple toilet trips made this morning has made me regret my decision. 

At least it is Monday and I have work to distract me from both my mental and physical pain. 

I may order some Imodium. 

And some rope? 

Isolation Diary: Day 7

It happened. Two negative lateral flow results. 

As ecstatic as I am; freedom is bittersweet. I’ve infected Harold and it is only a matter of time until it gets to Lin and Harrison too. 

Lin had a breakdown today when she was trying to get ready; she has not found it easy navigating between the downstairs toilet and the shower room upstairs. A direct quote from her was: “I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere.” 

Harold is shut away in his room and made a demand for coffee and cake less than 20 minutes after he had already been served his morning weetabix. 

I wanted to remind him that I did not get this quality of service, but I decided to be the bigger person and deliver the fucking cake with a smile. 

I am not too certain on how Harrison feels – he has listened to “What Have I Done to Deserve This” by The Pet Shop Boys five times on repeat and I’m not sure if this is a silent cry for help or not. 

Isolation Dairy: Day 8

Last night Lin and I got very very drunk and surprisingly I do not feel hungover at all. I suppose alcohol loses it affect when you already feel so numb. 

Lin had proceeded to lecture me about my excessive drinking habits. she had told me that she thinks that I should try and go sober for a bit. “I even thought to myself, I’m not going to drink anymore” she said, as she was drinking a large glass of vodka and tonic. 

Harold had managed to book a PCR test – he walked past me in the hallway with a mask on and I couldn’t help but step back and hold my breath. I’m not taking any more chances.

He has been milking his isolation period, he made a request for “brunch” from Lin and this had caused her to erupt into such a rage that she sat outside and smoked 3 sterling green’s in a row. 

I am dreading her turn. 

Isolation Diary: Day 9

I didn’t have the most pleasant wake up call today: Lin burst into my room at 4AM before she left for work, making a demand for my hairdryer and for me to take the bins out. 

Despite the cold, it was actually quite nice to have a bit of fresh air. This was the first time I had actually stepped outside of the house for 9 days, I didn’t even get irritated when one of the binmen gave me a sarcastic wolf whistle and the smell of the rubbish truck didn’t bother me. 

Lin is still negative, much to her dismay. She doesn’t want to go back to work tomorrow and even asked me if I was still contagious despite being negative. Before I had time to answer her, she latched onto me in a hug that felt more like a chokehold. 

Thankfully I am released back into the real world tomorrow. I may stay at Josh’s for a few days to emotionally recover from this mad house.